Freelance + Baby Bump = You're Not Hired!

I am 6 months pregnant. I work as a freelance television producer/director during a very brutal time in our industry. Tons of people looking for work. Some super qualified. Others not so much, but they know people. I started my career on the east coast and am now on the West Coast. That means my "network" is not so vast as it would be if I started as a PA here in LA and worked my way up.  On top of that--the game has changed.  You used to be able to work for a network steadily in production and move from show to show. You used to take a show from concept, through filming into post production and see it on the air.

Not any more. Everyone I know who had steady jobs as TV producers has been laid off and out of steady work. Some have opted to (or been forced to) make major career changes--from directing and producing some of the most famous talent on the planet to opening their own clothing line, event planner business or doggy grooming company.  

Now there are 15 job titles when before the title "Producer" would suffice. I've done it all--from writing the scripts to directing in the field to overseeing the edits. These jobs are now--field producer, segment producer, writer, director, field director, story producer, post producer etc. etc. Sometimes people look at me suspiciously when I say--yeah I can do that. I DO do that!

The pool of producers out now include people who've never seen a show all the way through and don't know how it all works. Even some of the showrunners don't know the process.

Oh. And the hours. 10 hour days minimum. Especially now that with the economy and the fact that TV reality & entertainment producers have no protections, sometimes 18 hour days, for 8 to 48 weeks. Weekends too. No overtime.

Ok, all that being said. I love my career and am managing to adjust to the new, "new."

But as I said. I'm pregnant. And while we all know it's not legal to not hire someone because they're pregnant, what are the chances that someone is going to hire a pregnant chick they don't know to produce a show? My bet is very slim. Especially considering that on one of the last major jobs I had, the Executive Producer became a different man once he discovered I was with child. (I discovered about a week before him and though I wasn't really showing, felt it was necessary to tell him.)

The great thing is the people that do know me, have still hired me, and I've still done a kick-ass job!

I just wanted to share my situation. As the question of "When  I go on maternity leave?" causes me panic attacks after I finish laughing ironically.

During my first pregnancy, I produced the Oscars (on the roof of the Ripley's building) at 5 months and produced the Miss America pageant at 7 months. But like I said, things have changed soooo much in 4 years. The industry is tight.


My husband works and thankfully provides us the stability of health insurance which I'd never have on my own in my industry. However, we are absolutely a 2-income family. So my not working provides extreme financial stress.

Thought I'd share my perspective--the unknown stresses of pregnant women! Any one else going through this type of situation?  Or do you feel attitudes change at work once you announce you're pregnant?

My master plan is to get a great gig in September for a few weeks so I can stop working in mid-October. Or even better, some sort of sitch--writing or consulting, that I can do from home. Cuz I really want a Glider this time!!! :-)

So keep your fingers crossed!!

~Mamanike aka
@blackpearlgurl

Boy or A Girl? The Nose Knows

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Please Stop Asking Me If I've Named the Baby...

It's none of your business. I barely know you. But most importantly, I don't need outside pressure from the likes of you. I know the baby needs a name. And it needs to be a perfect name for the baby. I've got 4 months to figure that out. And that is something that requires mindpower. I've got plenty of that. What I'm running out of is mobility, energy, and money. Have you asked me if I have a crib yet? Or a stroller, or if I've reorganized and decorated my son's room into  room for him and a baby? If I've figured out how to juggle the needs of a toddler with the needs of a baby in my belly? I mean more and more this little boy is asking to be picked up and carried. Well he just says he wants a "ride" but we both know what that means.  Do I have the energy and strength for that? Not really.

And isn't it customary not to reveal the baby's name until you've revealed the baby? Well, maybe that's changed, but to me, it's a private thing. My mom hasn't even asked me if I have a name for the baby, so why do random strangers make that the top 3 question on their list? (1: How far along are you? 2: Is it a boy or a girl? 3: Did you pick out a name yet?)

Sheesh.  From now on, I will just have fun with it, and give people outlandish answers with a defiant, yet proud look on my face. Top 5 future baby name answers:
1:Paper Mache,
2:Corduroy (after my dog who recently passed),
3: WaterMelonia (a feminine twist on the fruit that I eat so much of during my pregnancy),
4: Vision --because I have it and so will the baby, and
5: Textile because it sounds so neat.

My close friends and family will know the baby's name....and then maybe I'll tell you! Meanwhile I still have to unpack from our move, need to redecorate the "nursery/little boy's room" and I need a nap.

Did any other mothers out there come up with crazy answers to give to strangers? Let's hope you never bump into them again!

Mama Nike!

I'm Baaack!!!

So it's almost been exactly FOUR years since I blogged about my pregnancy. It's not that I had some superhuman gestation period and I'm just announcing his birth. 


It's that I fell completely off and was super overwhelmed with my first child. And also the fact that the blog was initially for far away friends to keep them updated on the pregnancy.




So why am I back? 
Well first let me start by saying that I was blessed with the most adorable little boy you've ever seen!

Baby D (now known at Little D or Mighty D!) was born June 18th 2008 and has been a joy ever since. I've learned so much being a mommy and  I was just settling in to things. 






 And then....I discovered 4 months ago that I was expecting again! And so many things are new, and less stressful, and funny, while others are more stressful, not funny and annoying that I felt compelled to get back to the keyboard. 

 So MamaNike --as I'm known here (aka Black Pearl), will be sharing stories of my second journey into motherhood. As a 40-something year old freelance married chick. I don't feel old, but....damn! This baby is wearing me out this go 'round! 


I'm sleepy after 3 hours, but my job (when I have one, I'm for-hire)  normally requires a 12 hour day for sometimes 6-7 day weeks. And my son requires my undivided attention.Period.  And my husband, though he is a chef, wants a good home-cooked meal and for the house to be relatively neat, not to much to ask really. And my closest relative is thousands of miles away. And....I don't have many mommy friends (or friends even) out here in LA. But I try to keep it PreggoFab!




....So stay tuned (and I'll figure out this page layout thing too!)

DISNEY LOVES DONOVAN!!

It's been a looong time! But I wanted you to know today is Donovan's 6 month birthday!!! And it light of this and the upcoming Holidays, Disney has done something WONDERFUL! Check it out!

Friends are GREAT!!

I've always really put a high value on friendship and I try to be the best friend I can in return.

This post is just my appreciation and gratefulness for all of the wonderful friends I have in my life. It's really amazing! And the thing is some are old, some are new but they're all fantastic!

First I want to announce how excited I was to receive my FIRST baby shower gift! I was at home, minding my own business (relatively speaking, we all know I'm fairly nosey) when there was a knock at my door. It was UPS! So unexpected!
So they delivered me a fairly large, but not heavy box. I called my mom so I could open it with someone! (Bensford was at work)
It was from my dear friend Colleen! I can't explain how much joy it brought me--not the gift alone, but the fact that a friend took the time out to send it! Here's a pic of our new diaper bag courstesy of my film school partner in crime!!!!

But let me take things back several months. To a new friend Akeim. He and his wife just had a baby about a year ago. At the time, I was overwhelmed with not only the costs of prepping for a baby--but prepping for my body changes (new pants, new bras, etc!!!) So do you know that Akeim (who I met at E! and who is an editor there) and his wife gave us a LARGE BOX load of baby clothes, a playpen set and a changing pad!!!!!! It was such a wonderful gift and it provided such a relief to us to know we had some basics!!! Of course they had a boy so all of the stuff is tre masculine. We shall see how much ends up being usable!!!


One day I was emailing my friend Rita who also recently had a cute little boy named Christian. I was thanking her for congratulating me. Somehow, out of the blue she asked me if I needed any money. I mean honestly. Who does that? Anyway she ended up sending me a Target gift card and i was able to buy some much needed maternity jeans! Then she sent me a box of clothes she wore that might fit. Unbelievable.


My friend Adrienne, from day one has already put it in her plans to fly to LA and help with the baby when its born.

Tia (Smitty) has sent me so many words of encouragement, along with a Pregnancy Exercise DVD AND she's picking me up from the airport in DC even though she'll be tired from travelling that same day.

MY girls here in LA--I can't even believe them--they are constantly supportive and are so excited about the baby's arrival! Every month, we, collectively known as BLACK GIRLS RULE LA!, meet to just support each other professionally and personally.
Do you know these chicks called a special meeting just to plan my LA baby shower?!!!

I guess the bottom line is this--I'm blessed. And sometimes we don't know what God's plan is for us, how we're gonna make it through. Sometimes we are scared of the unknown. But having friendship has always helped me know that ere'thang is gonna be allright!

I'm so excited at the LOVE the baby will receive when he or she arrives!

What a BLESSING!!!!!!!

Nesting & Resting

I may be nesting! I have spent the last week on this seriously intensive cleaning mission. So much so that today I've prescribed myself to bedrest! I guess I realize time's a-tickin and I'm becoming less and less mobile.The plan is to get as much done before I leave on Thursday for home home--DC!!!

So the kitchen has been completely overhauled and next is the nursery! Yikes!!!

I'm excited and nervous--we have to convert our office into the baby's room and there's a LOT of stuff to get rid of! But I can use most of May for that project and pace myself and create my VISION!!!

Instead of painting, I'm on the hunt for wallpaper strips that can add baby flava to the room. So that's the plan! As soon as I find some that I like, I'll be sure to let you know!!!

The Little Things

Sooooo....I just thought I'd make a list of the wonderful things Bensford has done for me just today. Small but meaningful things that I not only appreciate, but make me feel loved!!!

1. Last night, I realized much too late that we only had a swallow of water left in tha container! Turns out I'm drinking like a gallon of water a day! So I was parched and there just wasn't enough water left in the house. My car is out of commission and Benzy had secured a coveted spot on the street. So do you know what he did? He WALKED to the gas station up the block and brought me back some water at 11 pm at night!

2. This morning, I was looking all roly-poly with the baby belly. He was just looking at me grinning. What? I asked. Baby, you look so beautiful, he replied!

3. Moments before, he helped me slather lotion on my now unreachable back! How fantastic!

4. As we were headed to the car to go to my doctor's appointment, he told me my shoe was untied. I was like I'll get it when we get to the car (I cannot really bend over, but if I'm sitting I can cross my leg on my knee and get the job done.) Well he said, just stop right here, put your foot out-and he tied my shoe on the curb!!!!

5. After running errands, I was hungry (of course). I really wanted pizza. He doesn't much care for pizza OR Italian food. But he took me there anyways! It was DELISH!!!!!!!


6. Tonight he went to get his hair cut, and came back with a load of apples (the one's I had just bought yesterday were all bruised!) TWO gallons of water and some iced green tea cuz he knows how much I love it!!!!

7. This morning, he summoned me into the future baby's room (not yet completed or started by any means). He wanted to show me something. He had purchased a clothes steamer for me so I wouldn't have to bend over to IRON!!!!!!


This is all in a 24 hour period. Gotta love him!

Seven Months and Counting!! Vegas Baby!

Little Baby Bean and I celebrated our 7th month in Las Vegas! I was working on the Miss USA pageant and we spent 3 weeks in the dry, dusty, loud din of inequity that is Las Vegas!

First let me just say that this little baby is a trooper! Bean has been on the roof of Ripleys in LA (for the Oscars) and now high above the Las Vegas skyline and ALL throughout the city!

I really thought that I'd be up for the schedule of this shoot. I didn't realize a few things. One--the first two weeks I'd be working EVERY SINGLE DAY. Two--that this was the time during my pregnancy that my belly would grow exponentially, my hunger would increase tenfold and my fatigue would intensify.

Let's just say I'm so proud to have made it through safely, healthily and with great memories.

I found that I mis-estimated my "wall", I thought my limits were further than they were, and by the time I realized I reached my limits--I was waaaay past them.
One day, we had to go with the contestants to Caesar's Palace, The Venetian, The Palazzo. And walk all the way through these gigantic hotels shooting in the heat. Well, by midday, I was famished and by the end of the day I could barely walk. I literally sat at our hotel restaurant trying to figure out how the HELL I was gonna get back to my room. After a quick, embarassing crying jag in front of my crew, a group of great guys who vowed to do the last shoot in the hotel spa without me, if i gave them a list of shots they had to get, I sat at the restaurant where they left me trying the get myself together.
Of course, I was a little panicked. I called my husband. I tried to be strong. I'll just go up now, I said. He said no, stay there as long as you need to rest. Is there anyone you can call, he asked?

So I called one of our PAs, who swooped in to save the day in like 5 minutes. He tracked down security, who brought over a wheelchair. And I did the roll of shame to my hotel room!
HA!
Well, I have to say this is the best production team I've worked with in LA. My supervising producer sent the nurse up to check on me (I hadn't told her but I guess the PA did :-). Then they rearranged the entire MISS USA production schedule so I could be off the next day and most of the day after that!
I slept ALL day!!!!! I could barely walk and part of the reason I realized was because my little body needed some belly support!

So before i started back in production another local PA VOLUNTEERED to take me to Babie's R Us--and I got a maternity belt.
OH
MY
GOODNESS!!!!
It changed my life. Back support, tummy support! I was back in business! Back to my old self!!!
Here's a pic!!!

OK--I don't want you to think my trip to Vegas was horrible. It was actually fun, once I figured out my limititations.

.

I did a shoot with famous photographer who was shooting the girls. The second day, they needed to test the background and I got to be a "model" along with some of my crew.

.

Here's a pic of me and my GREEN TEAM on the roof of the Rio Hotel with the Vegas skyline behind us.



And here's a pic of me backstage with my camera guy during the Presentation show, which is where the girls are judged and narrowed down to 15 before the live show airs.





There is a great shot of me and the new MISS USA--that I will post as soon as it's emailed to me!

I had a grand time. And the lessons I learned:
It's ok to not be a superwoman...Know your limits
People are kind.
Slow down on the hectic productions, no more intense field shoots or traveling shoots for a while!
My little one is strong!!!!

Pop Goes The Belly Button!!

Sheesh. Let me start by saying I've always been very proud of my inny belly button. And let me continue by saying that my belly button has always been extremely sensitive and off limits for any "playing."

So here I am minding my own business, enjoying my pregnancy when SOMEONE mentions to me that my belly button is gonna POP OUT! Ummmm....please understand the extent to which I freaked out! (Liken it to my weird response/phobia of bubbles)

Are you SURE???? Will I feel it? It better not happen I will go nuts. If it DOES happen it better happen while I'm sleep!!!!!! (Trust me I sound much calmer in this blog than I did in real life!)

Well I think I'm reaching the inevitable my friends, and I approach it with a little trepidation (well a lot). I know this sounds highly unreasonable and irrational. But I'm FREAKING OUT!!! My belly button has almost reached it's plateau. There is no more inny. There are over two months left so what does that mean--chances are.....
POP!!! Yikes, I cringe when I even write this. The deal is that now that belly button has reached the plateau it it rubbing against my shirts and that sensitivity is just ---let's just say i don't appreciate it!!!! Even when i rub my belly or others rub it, if they hit the belly button, it just feels horrid.

So I ask that you all pray for my strength as I prepare for this belly popping event!
I pray the sensitivity will go away! And that I won't actually FEEL the POP! And that once it happens its cute and wonderful!

Here's an EXTREME CLOSE UP of my belly--prepped for the big you know what!!!!! (taken 3 weeks ago. It's even WORSE now!!!! ha!!!)

Happy DAY!!!!!

(Originally published March 19, 2008)
Today me and Elon went to Wal Mart to complete my baby registry. I've been registering online and got most of the stuff I needed. But basic stuff like pacifiers and diapers--for some reason you can't register online. Does that make any sense? I think not.

So anyway, the plan was to go to WalMart with my printed out registry and use one of their scan guns to add items. So I followed directions on the print out and headed to the Jewelry department where I would get my scan gun and get started!!!!

Not so much.

Why did they only have ONE scan gun? And why was it BROKE??? WHY???!!!

Now at this point you're probably still wondering in your head why I registered at Walmart in the first place!

Two reasons:

First, I "shopped" online at Target, Babies R Us and Walmart. My initial goal since we're going to be surprised about the sex of our baby, was to find a color motif that I felt happy about. As you all know--I'm not a pastel type of chick! Whether its a boy or a girl--simple pink or blue would not work! I also don't believe that gender neutral means pale yellows and browns. I figured I'd start with the bedroom/crib set as that is the center of the room and work from there. And I was hoping for a vibrant lavender/purple motif that once the baby arrives I could accent with "boy" or "girl" flavor!

Well unfortunately, as far as I'm concerned--all of the bedroom sets were UGMO to the 15th power. Well--anything that would have passed for "neutral." Except this WONDERFUL baby set at WALMART! I mean its perfect! It's a combo of vibrant colors! Purples, yellows, oranges, greens! Simply fantastic! I'm attaching a pic for you!


I then double checked to make sure it wasn't at any of the other stores--nope! So, that's number one.



Number two reason--prices are way better for the same brands! I mean it's actually a bit ridiculous. Babies R Us is cute and has tons of stuff. I especially like the products they have for Maternity care which is hard to find (that's another post!) But their clothe, strollers, cribs etc are the same brands that are at Target and Walmart. But they cost like 3 times more! At first I figured, well i get the baby furniture--cribs etc there because they're probably made better. But unfortunately for them, the cribs and bassinets they have on display are not very stable and some are falling apart. Not very smart on their part. A colleague who has a 2 year old girl then told me that Walmart and Target sell the same things-but again, prices are higher at Target AND they have a really bad return policy.

OK three reasons. The final reason is the research I did online of customer reviews on the websites. Everyone was extremely pleased with the products they purchased and many had similar early reservations about the quality of the products.

Ok, decision made. So we're in WalMart with no scanner and the only advice the clerk can offer is that we go to another store. Ummmm. I think we all know that WalMarts are far and few between! (But everyone can buy anything online, have it shipped to the store or to the registree (made up word) so I figured this wouldn't be a problem for my people).

Anyway, we decided to just look at the baby stuff anyway since we were there. We had sooo much fun! Elon had great advice since she has quite a few friends with little ones. We were doing fine, having fun, not too emotional....until....Well for me it was when she asked if I had registered for a walker, which I hadn't. But I just felt this wave of emotion at the thought of my child racing through the house in PJs, with a big, one toothed grin on his or her face in a walker! That image just melted my heart. I swallowed my tears. Man, to think I almost forgot to register for one!!!! So exciting! I can't wait!

Then we went to the diaper section. One of the tiny newborn diaper bags had been opened. They had all these colorful designs on it and were beyond adorable. I felt my heart swell, but not before Elon's did! I looked back and tears were streaming down her face! We shared a wonderful hug---"You're having a baby!" she said happily through the tears! We couldn't let go of that little diaper. Ummm.....suffice it to say that arrangements were made and the diaper is now in my nightstand drawer! What a friend!!!!

So I've gotten back home, found a walker online, added it to said registry and feel fantastic!

Not officially 6 months yet--but soooooon!!!

High Kicks or Football Punts??!!

(Originally published March 18th 2008)
Well, Baby Bean is in full kicking action today! At first, to be honest--I didn't know they were kicks--I thought my stomach was just kinda "gurgling." And then one day when Bensford and I were chillin on the couch, Bean kicked like his/her life depended on it! It was so exciting--I couldn't believe it! The baby was like--HELLO??!!!!! I'm here!!!! Of course we still don't know if this was a ballerina high kick (girl) or a football field goal punt (boy) but we'll know in THREE MONTHS!!!

I LOVE it when the baby kicks--it's so exciting! Today it's been non-stop! Soon people will be able to put their hands on my belly and feel it for themselves.

But first let me clarify....I can't have any and every stranger coming up to me and feeling my stomach. It's just not gonna happen. I honestly don't understand why people who barely know you (or anyone for that matter) loves to touch the belly. I never have touched any one's pregnant tummy unless I asked. Even my own cousin! I think it's just too personal, weird and presumptous. So only my lovely friends and family are allowed to touch my belly. All other folks best be prepared to snatch back a NUB!!!

I've always wondered when pregnant woman are like--the baby's kicking, why they seemed so calm! I mean to the untrained it sounds a little nuts--the baby is KICKING YOU FROM THE INSIDE AND YOU'RE SMILING BLISSFULLY AND OFFERING FOR PEOPLE TO FEEL IT???!!!

But now I get it. At first it was such a weird feeling. But now its just so comforting. It let's me know my baby is happy, active and healthy. And there are certain times when Little Bean kicks more than others---I'm just noticiing it, but I think its related to my baby's favorite meals! Ha!!!

And the kicking doesn't actually hurt so it's all good! (Though I have heard that it will in a few months!)

That's all for now!

Snuggling & Snoogling

This is the kickoff to my last three months of pregnancy! I figure now is the time to really get to blogging so all my fam and friends know what's going on. Up until now, I've been keeping a personal journal, but I'm ready to go worldwide with it!




Right now, I'm 23 weeks pregnant!

SNOOGLING:

Back pain, hip pain, legs that fall asleep and overall discomfort when I'm asleep--and the remnants when I'm awake! All this pain went away when I purchased the SNOOGLE pillow this week!

I've always been one of those DIY people! I figure there's always a better way than buying some new-fangled product--and a pillow? I have plenty of pillows! So for the past 2 months I've been using about six pillows under various parts of my body to ease the pain: one between my legs, one wedged in front of my stomach, another directly under me at the waist and a couple behind my back. Not to forget the one I used to put my head on! Well I'm sure you can imagine that though in theory this works, it led to some ridiculously uncomfortable nights! Aside from the fact that my husband had only one pillow if any (he finally just gracefully decided to sleep on the couch--but who wants that for two more months?) What about when I had to take the inevitable trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Yeah--complete mayhem. It's hard enough trying to lift myself out of my dreams and out of bed, but being tangled up in all those pillows, that then get tangled in the blankets? Talk about annoying. Time is of the essence here! I must use the bathroom. By the time I unwrangle, swing my legs over the side of our very tall bed and stagger to the bathroom, I am beyond irritated. Especially at the the thought that somehow i will have to rearrange all those pillows again and try to fall asleep (without disturbing said husband.)

To make matters worse--it didn't even help my back pain! One night I decided I'd be the one to sleep on the couch--more controlled pillow action right? Wrong. It was horrendous and i finally moved back into the bedroom around 5 am.

So finally I decided to try a body pillow. I mean you have no idea! It's so soothing, you can twist it into different positions as needed through the night and--no more hip and back pain!!! Yippeee!!!!




SNUGGLING:

Yesterday I went to genetic counseling and got my second ultrasound. Ok--so my appointment was at 2 pm and no one saw me until 3:30--not cool. So around 3:30--just at the time when I decided to leave the room, stretch, get fresh air and go the bathroom, I was finally called in. First for Genetic Counseling. This is when a medical counselor basically assesses your family and medical history and advises you on various tests you can or should take to determine if your baby may have certain ailments such as Down's Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis or any of the anemias. Prior to this I had taken an AFP blood test which screened for some of these possibilities. The results all came back negative at the lowest possible probability! what a relief! So I was advised that if I wanted, I could get the amniocenticis test. This is the one where they stick a needle in your belly near the baby but into the placenta to get a 100% result from the baby's chromosomes as to whether it has those diseases. Umm, not me!

First of all, there is a great danger to hurting or losing the baby when you get this test. Second, since none of my tests indicated any red flags, I didn't feel the need to take the risk. Third, I'm 5 1/2 months--whatever the baby has (which will be nothing, cuz baby will be healthy!) there is nothing I can do about it. Why stress myself for 3 months?

Still, the counseling was very informative. Specifically for me (and other Af-Am couples) is the risk of sickle cell. I know for a fact that I carry the sickle cell trait. But thankfully Bensford doesn't--so we should be fine. But in general the lesson that I've learned and keep learning as I get older, is how important it is to know not only your medical history, but your family's (on both your mother and father's side.) Normally you would have the genetic counseling before or in early stages of pregnancy and then you will have more options.

So after this it was time for my ultrasound! This is the one where they normally tell you the sex of the baby. But Bensford and I have decided to be surprised. My only fear was that the doctors would slip up and tell me--so i made sure to let them know several times--we don't wanna know the sex!!

There were two women doctors and they were very nice! I had a few concerns because I'd been having severe cramping and pain on my right side about a month ago. At my last ultrasound, a different doctor told me I had a fibroid in my uterus (which I've never known or had any problems with!) One night I had to go to the hospital cuz I was cramping so bad--it turned out--they GUESSED, to be the fibroid. So at this ultrasound i asked them to take a look at it, tell me if it was the same size and where it was exactly located on my body. Well, it's there, it's the same size and located in the lower right of my abdomen--exactly where I'd been experiencing the pain. Funny thing was--I hadn't had any for quite sometime. But on this particular day, I was feeling a slight bit of pain there. Curious--but the mystery would soon be solved.

So finally they started showing me the baby. All kinds of angles and 3D shots. To be honest, I had no idea what i was looking at--even though they were raving about this and that. I DID see the umbilical cord connect into the baby. And I saw the baby's spine. I was concerned I would accidentally see a PEA-NUS and spoil the surprise--but like i said--i had no idea what was going on.

Finally it was time to check out the baby's face! They kept trying to take pictures of it for me--and I finally got one. Guess what the problem was--little baby was SNUGGLED up against my fibroid all comfortable, so they couldn't get his/her ** full face! I'm sure this is why I was feeling that vague pain!

I'm gonna try to upload the picture! **By the way, during the damn ultrasound, the doctor kept referring to the baby as "He". She later apologized saying she just didn't like to call a baby "it". My eyebrow is up. couldn't she just say "the baby" ?? Was she telling the truth or just trying to cover her slip up? We shall see. I keep accidentally referring to the baby as He myself. I've been doing that the whole time. Is that a sign?

Well, my friends here in LA call the baby "Bean." As in, "How's Bean doing?". This nickname is courtesy of Monique. When I was in the first trimester and dealing with all of that first trimester crap at work (fatigue, nausea, stress, and fatigue) that was her codename for the baby and me so no one would know that I was pregnant. Well it stuck, and now even my mom asks, "How's Bean today?" !!!

That's all for today!